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Studying, Wellbeing

Managing emotional challenges

WRITTEN BY:

BREE TAYLOR

STUDENT WELLBEING COACH

Cht, Dip App Sci, Mas NLP

Imagine you’ve had a hard day and suddenly find yourself sitting on-hold to a service provider. It takes a while for your call to get answered. You start to feel restless and mildly stressed. When you do eventually speak to someone, they can’t answer your question easily, or the answer isn’t the one you were hoping for.

You feel anger rising up within you, wanting them to understand how hard, challenging or inconvenient this is for you. You start to raise your voice and get more short, snappy, even rude – not because they’ve done anything wrong, but because you’ve had a rough day.

Sound familiar? We’ve all been there. We are all human and have our not-so-great moments. But did you ever stop to think about the effect your bad mood had on the person you vented at?

Is that fair, or even necessary?

Have you ever tried to shift your focus from the annoyance of what’s lacking / missing to having some appreciation for what is actually there? Instead of taking our stressed, irritable behaviour out one another, what if we slowed down enough to acknowledge the help, care or kindness we have already been given.

Instead of putting all our attention on rude behaviour, let’s begin looking to reinforce those moments of care and kindness that are offered:

  • Thank you for being so kind and patient with me today.
  • Your kindness is really appreciated……
  • I’m sorry I don’t mean to snap at you. Despite my grumpiness I am very grateful you are helping me through this right now.

Where we focus our thoughts is what we get more of – i.e. where attention goes energy flows – so where are you putting your attention and energy?

Imagine how different you might feel if you moved your focus to looking for places where positivity and support are offered. Maybe this shift of awareness will help you rise above those inevitable frustrations, or if nothing else begin to experience more of the compassion and kindness you so desire (and deserve).

The more we retrain ourselves to look for and appreciate the kindness offered by others, the easier those hard days can become. And the more others are willing to help us, support us and have compassion for us.

Where attention goes, energy flows.

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